I am woman. Watch as the men try to explain my roar.

Mansplain.

(of a man) to comment on or explain something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner.

I absolutely HATE when this happens.

I work in an office of all men.  Mostly millennial young men who I would assume were raised to have put these old fashioned views behind them.

Yeah, no.


Being the only woman, who holds a higher position that most of the men in my department, has been an education in the last remaining vestiges of misogyny.
Let me explain.


If I know the answer to a question, and I answer the question (because, again, I trained most of these men, and I am considered the team expert in many things), I am told that I couldn't possibly know the answer.  My answer is contradicted and  reinterpreted and reexplained. My answer is disregarded and thrown out in favor of what anyone else with a penis has to say.

And if my answer is proven correct?  The menfolk take credit for having known it all along.

I have had some of these men venture over to my desk to ask me a question, only to then go back and check my work.  (Hilariously, they often times use documentation that I have provided to check my answer - thus using my own words to fact check my words...)

I have had them talk over me in meetings.

I have had them ignore me when I do talk.

I have had them go to managers to verify the things I said.

And I have had enough.

What is it about an intelligent woman that makes so many guys defensive?  Does the fact of my intelligence and knowledge some how lessen what you know?  Do you think that estrogen in some way impedes my ability to make rational and intelligent decisions?  Are you afraid of breasts?  What is it?

And why do I have to repeatedly explain why this is wrong and absolutely infuriating?

My daughter was just accepted to the gifted program at school. My son has not been as of this time.  He might be in the future, but she got in first.

I shared this news with my circle of friends, excited mama that I am.  Most of the feedback was absolutely glowing.

Most.

The number of people who tempered their excitement for my daughter with the question "What about your son?" floored me. One person even went so far as to congratulate my son instead, because it was beyond their comprehension that it could have actually been my daughter I was proud of.

Most of my friends are of the progressive/liberal variety.  Most of my friends espouse their tolerance in posts and at marches and through comments on news articles.  Some of my friends are conservative, christian and old fashioned.

It was NOT the conservative friends who messaged me, concerned about my son.

It was not a conservative friend who congratulated my son on what was obviously his accomplishment.

In this day and age, we shouldn't have this tempered view of intelligence.  A woman's brain is no less astute than a man's.  A man is no more suited for intellectualism than a woman.  But here we are in 2018, and some of us are living in the fifties. 

It shouldn't surprise me, but it does.  And it makes me seethe inside for my daughter, because I know how those comments and thoughts can crush the spirit of a little girl.  I was little once too.  There is nothing as hurtful as having someone say "No, let your brother do it." Because he is a boy and you are just a girl.

For years I let it get to me.  I listened when people would say "That is for boys."  I didn't play soccer because it was for boys.  I never took karate.  I let well meaning people tell me that I couldn't or shouldn't do a thing that was too masculine for my little girl body and my little girl brain.  Forget that I was drawn to the boy things.  They were boy things, and I am just a girl.

Well meaning can still be mean.  Never forget that.

But the world is changing (I hope), and I have a daughter whom I love fiercely.  And I have a son that I need to raise to understand that respect has no gender.  I need my children to know that there are no boy things or girl things.  There are just... things.

We should not have to hide who we are because of some antiquated view of what we should be.

Hidden, chalk and charcoal on paper.

She hides only because she has been told that she has to.

She remained silent because she had been expected to.

But do not make the mistake of underestimating her.

She is power. 

She is fierce.

And she will change the world.

One little girl at a time.